"I DON'T HAVE A MOMMY, I HAVE TWO DADDIES": AMERICAN GAY FATHERS' EXPERIENCES OF SOCIALIZING THEIR CHILDREN BORN THROUGH SURROGACY

The present study qualitatively investigated the socialization practices of gay fathers with their children born through surrogacy and aged 3-9 years. Sixty-seven gay fathers were interviewed about their socialization practices, with questions such as how they explain their family structure to their children and how/if they prepare their children for potential bias or difficult questions from peers. A thematic analysis revealed three socialization approaches used by fathers: Proactive, Cautious, and Neutral approaches. The most common approach was a Proactive approach, which was defined by fathers consistently initiating socializing conversations with their children, accompanied by concrete actions that promoted pride and combatted heteronormativity. This approach also acknowledged that children could face homophobia and wanted to prepare them for it. Next, a Cautious approach was defined by waiting for children to ask questions about being in a two-father family and concern that preparing their children for homophobia would do more harm than good. Finally, a Neutral approach was defined by emphasizing the normality of the children’s family unit and de-emphasizing the need for conversations about being in a two-father family. These findings have relevant implications for policies and clinical work with gay father families through surrogacy. Keywords: Surrogacy, Gay Fathers, LG-Parenting, Socialization